News

The people of Battersea have spoken (some of them). The votes have been cast, counted and verified and democracy has been done. Le Bureau members left their desks and made their voices heard  in one of the most portentous decisions of our time – and the results have shocked many to the core.

We have chosen our favourite biscuit.

The 3pm biscuit basket is a Le Bureau institution, beloved by all for its bounteous offerings, counted on by many for its sugary goodness in the dirge of mid-afternoon. But for months – years – members have been selecting their biscuits on instinct alone. We have no data as to which biscuits are the most popular, and why; there is no open discourse around a topic that affects all of us on a daily basis. We choose our biscuits in silence and return to our desks to enjoy a sugar hit with no explanation as to why.

No more. This week, rigorous and probing research (a chalk board tally) was undertaken to determine which baked good reigns supreme. The results are in.

The Results

=1. Jaffa Cake
=1. Dark chocolate Digestive
2. Special cookie
= 3. Fig roll
= 3. Caramel Cadbury’s Fingers
4. Oreos

Analysis

There was nothing to choose between Jaffa Cakes and the humble dark chocolate Digestive. Jaffas, with their light, fluffy base, slightly bitter topping and sweet, orange jelly, were an obvious winner: they are a perfect, bite-size treat for members who are making a biscuit pit-stop on their way to or from a meeting. Perhaps more of a surprise was the success of the Digestive – and the dark chocolate version to boot. Yet this proved hugely popular thanks to its combination of crumbly, buttery biscuit base and moreish chocolate top.

Yes, there was some contention over the validity of a ‘cake’ placing first in such a pivotal biscuit ranking (especially after McVities proved in a 1991 VAT tribunal that Jaffa Cakes were, in fact, cakes) but their stacking and dunking properties and biscuit-sized proportions give them special status in biscuit baskets around the world.

The Special Cookie category covered any variety that went above and beyond the everyday chocolate-chip. They might have been dipped into molten chocolate to form a solid, sweet bottom layer, or maybe the ‘chip’ element consists of a range white, orange or Smarties segments in different permutations (chunky/soft centre etc). Additional flavours – salted caramel, nuts, more chocolate – also contribute to a cookie’s ‘specialness’. Special Cookies are a regular feature in the Le Bu 3pm basket and continue to be favoured by  members, especially those in need in something more substantial than the light-bite of a Jaffa.

The third-place biscuits provided the biggest surprise of all. Cadbury’s Fingers are a ubiquitous choice, loved by anyone and everyone who has ever dared put one in their mouth (it is impossible to eat just one). But the success of the caramel version threw a twist that was not picked up in the exit polls. Fig rolls, the biscuit of choice for grandparents everywhere, was another shock hit in our Battersea office. They have no doubt secured themselves a recurring spot in 3pm baskets of the future.

Oreos fared the worst. Their added fun factor (admit it: you twist off the top, nibble out the filing then eat the rest just like everyone else) suggested they might have placed higher.  But Le Bureau members were having none of it and Oreos trailed home in last place.

Although they were not on the ballot, an honourable mention must go to chocolate Hobnobs and Choco Leibniz biscuits. The Le Bu basket endeavours to cover a wide demographic but it simply cannot accommodate every preference and predilection in our office community. This was indicated by a straw pole taken before the official ballot opened which revealed Choco Leibniz was the ultimate biscuit for many members.

There can be no doubt, however, as to which biscuits have come out top in this crucial vote. Jaffa Cakes, dark chocolate Digestives – and democracy: we salute you.